Imposibilities
by Pansychic27213
Summary: Sans struggles everyday with the effects of many resets. [Warnings for feels, depression, and suicidal thoughts]
**A/N: First Undertale fic. Please warm me of anything wrong. Warning for feels.**

Impossibilities

Sans was pretty sure skeletons didn't have the ability to cry. (They weren't supposed to bleed or get sick either, but that's besides the point.) So it made no sense when his body became completely still and slow tears slipped down the sides of his skull. Everything felt very still, and wrong. It was a feeling he had gotten used to over the years.

Reset.

Someone was reseting the timeline. It hadn't happened in a while, and there was a brief thought to what could have caused it, but it was quickly pushed aside.

Papyrus was dancing about in front of him, singing without a care in the world and not worrying about a thing. He didn't even notice his brother had stopped walking beside him. Sans watched him for a moment; he was so glad his brother was always happy. His own depression made resets difficult, and he couldn't imagine if he woke up one time to Papyrus sad. Or worse, gone.

There were a few timelines Sans could recall, where Papyrus was gone when he woke up. Where no one responded to his pleas and desperate calls. Where nobody came.

Those were always the worst times, and those were usually the times when he considered giving up. When he considered locking himself away forever, or trying to get rid of himself before the resets even started.

But then he woke up again and everyone was friendly and smiling. It confused him, messed with him. But he stayed, if only for those times.

"Papyrus," Sans called. His voice was very low, and gentle, and it rang out across the snow. The reset was building, and the skeleton trembled at the thought of waking up again.

His brother turned and looked at him with surprised eyes.

"Yes, Sans?" The taller skeleton questioned, bounding back over. Sans shoved his hands in his pockets and smiled through his tears.

"Never forget that I love you, okay?"

"Sans?"

The reset completed.

-{[(•)]}-

Sans woke up in bed, like every other reset before this. He stared up at the white ceiling and considered putting up a poster. He knew it would be a wasted effort by the next reset.

Tears filled his eye sockets and he turned away from the door, trembling. What was the point of any effort? He would always reset or die and come back anyway. Why bother getting to know anyone again? Why bother getting to work on time or setting traps? Why bother getting out of bed?

Why bother even opening his eyes?

"Papyrus?" He called, just to be sure. There was silence for a long moment, and Sans was sure this would be one of the times when his brother would be gone.

He _could_ get out of bed.

He _could_ get revenge on the human.

But what was the point?

It would _always_ be taken away again.

He sobbed for a moment, his feelings welling uncontrollably. This was something he had tried working on when he first discovered his ability, when he first woke up. He tried stuffing all his emotions under puns and ketchup.

But they always came back. They always struck at moments like these, when he felt like he couldn't even get out of bed, or even move, or even breathe. When all the hope was gone in the world, and there was no reason to try.

"SANS!" The door slammed against the wall and his brother rushed in. Sans gasped, feeling overwhelming relief. His back was still turned to the door, but Papyrus fixed that by quickly running over and scooping him up. "I heard you crying!"

"B-Bad day," Sans choked out with a soft, slightly hysterical chuckle. He wiped at his eyes, but the tears just dribbled down the bones of his wrists and fingers. He had wanted to tell Papyrus about his thoughts and feelings for so long, but what was the point when his brother would just forget again?

Luckily, his brother took care of him anyway.

"I, the Great Papyrus, cannot stand to see you so upset! I will give you a hug!" The taller skeleton snuggled his brother closer. "And I will give you spaghetti! And we will make puzzles! And when you feel better, you will tell me why you are upset. And if I cannot help you...! I will call Undyne."

Sans sobbed out a laugh and buried himself in his brother's chest, hoping for a long time until another reset. He would indulge just this once, and he would strive to remember it when it finally disappeared.

-{[(•)]}-

Sans woke up in bed. He stared up at his white ceiling and considered painting it another color. If he didn't like it, it would eventually go away, right? Maybe a soft yellow would be good, or a deep blue.

He'd always have the same amount of money, so who cared if he spent it all on paint?

"Papyrus?" He called, just to be sure.

Nobody came.

He hauled himself out of bed and went downstairs. The cabinets were empty. The lights were dim. It was cold.

"Papyrus?"

Familiar emptiness swept over him. He shrugged on his sweatshirt and trudged out of the house. No one was outside. It was quiet. A tangy, metallic scent was on the air. He made his way to the general store. The store owner was slumped over a chair in the corner.

Sans didn't even look his way, simply going around the corner and picking the paint him wanted. He carried them to his house, barely noticing the weight that dragged him down. He lugged the cans upstairs, grabbed a brush, and painted his ceiling a bright red.

When it was all done, he let himself use the camera on his phone.

"Papyrus?"

Silence.

"Come see what I did in my room."

Darkness.

" _On days like these..._ "

The skeleton made his way to the castle, ready to judge.

-{[(•)]}-

Sans woke up in bed. He tried to stare up at the ceiling, but his brother's face blocked his view.

"You're burning up!" The other skeleton worried. He placed a wet cloth over Sans head, trying to cool him down.

"I'm fine," Sans smiled softly. "Will you bring anyone to see me?"

"Who? You and Undyne are my only friends! But that's okay! I, the Great Papyrus, do not need many friends!"

"Okay," Sans agreed, mildly. "Stay with me?"

"You're acting strange," Papyrus declared, anxiously wiping Sans's forehead.

"I feel like I don't see you anymore," the smaller brother offered. His voice was weak, and he coughed tiredly.

"Of course I will stay with you!" Papyrus assured. "I will make you some spaghetti, and when you feel better, we can hang out!"

"Sure," Sans whispered, grinning.

-{[(•)]}-

He woke up in bed. He stared up at the ceiling with blurry eyes, already weeping. The house was cold. And quiet. And still.

He rolled out of bed and tumbled down the stairs. Everything felt broken when he finally made it to the kitchen. He dragged himself to the silverware drawer.

His single HP vanished.

-{[(•)]}-

Sans woke up in bed. He ignored the ceiling and made his way downstairs. Papyrus greeted him cheerfully from the kitchen, and he called back with a lazy smile.

He walked through the snow to the tall doors at the edge of Snowdin. He knocked faintly. A kind, happy voice responded, and he slid to the ground, listening to awful jokes and sweet recipes.

When the woman had to leave, he went to Grillby's and greeted all his friends. He paid for everyone's food and left happy and satisfied. He watched the cute dog couple put their bone under the tree. He watched a small monster kid run around in excitement.

He went to the edge of Snowdin and stared at the icy river there. The slow movement of the water was calming, and he fell asleep in the snow.

-{[(•)]}-

Sans woke up in bed. He laid there for a long moment, listening. It was dark outside, which meant he had woken up normally, instead of from a reset. He looked around, slightly confused. What had woken him?

Tears dropped on his blankets.

Silently he reached out, and a fleshy hand grasped his skeletal one. He pulled the small human into bed, snuggling them into his side.

"What's up?" He asked, but they didn't respond. He tried stroking their hair to help them fall asleep, but instead, they hiccuped and began to cry even harder. "Hey! What's this! Don't cry, kid, sheesh." He gently rocked the child back and forth. "What's brought this on, huh? Didja have a bad dream?"

Finally, the human nodded.

"You wanna talk about it?"

They considered.

"I hurt a lot of people," they whispered, distressed. "I didn't spare anyone or show any mercy. Everybody was scared of me and ran away." Sans stilled, memories wrapping themselves around him like a dark cloak. "I didn't want to. I was scared. I don't want to hurt anyone." Sans turned his face away, pretending to be thinking. The glow of his eyes disappeared into his sweatshirt.

"You haven't hurt anyone," Sans assured quietly, cradling the human close. "Everyone likes you and wants to be friends with you."

"I-I had another dream-" the child's voice hitched, and Sans almost burst from the sheer torture of it all. He knew these nightmares like the back of his hands, and bringing them up only made him want to lay down and never get up again.

"-you were so sad! You cried and cried but nobody came!" The human sobbed in earnest now, and Sans stared in disbelief. "And when nobody came, you faded away! You didn't come when I called for you, and you didn't make bad puns, and you didn't hug me or wipe my tears! Papyrus and Undyne and Toriel and Alphys were all so, so sad but you still didn't come back and oh, Sans, _please_ don't go away!"

The shocked skeleton stared down at the quivering human in his arms, frozen and unsure how to respond. Slowly, he wrapped his arms around them.

The tears in his eyes were happy, for once.

 **A/N: QUESTION OF THE UPDATE: If you could take up any hobby, what would it be? I pick painting or sewing! I really want to create some beautiful things.**


End file.
